Saturday, March 19, 2011

challenging days







It's hard when you feel bad. At some time or the other we all do!I am so tired of feeling sick and tired! I don't let on like I am sick but the real truth is I am. I don't like that the pain is so incredible I can't sleep.I don't like that I cancel things because I am sick. But, this is my lot in life and I do the best with it I can. It is annoying and you want to cry sometimes. I feel like it is unfair.I feel cheated. I know that is not the Godly way to feel. But people are quick with words and they say stupid things when your sick. Like my friend had Lupus and died. I learned to ignore these silly acquisitions and go on with my life. I am not lollygagging around town like I ama well person! Quite the contrary. I know it helps others to see me living a seemingly normal life. To me there is nothing NORMAL about going to the Dr. every week and taking handfuls of pills. There is nothing normal about feeling exhausted and having a hard time walking at times when you are 55 yrs old!There is something to be said about being sick. You DO stop and smell the roses because you know it could be your last. You do love more deeply and hug more tightly. You do enjoy life more even though it hurts. So see, God knew what he was doing when he allowed me this illness.I still don't like it.I accept it and I never question why??? I always say it could be worse. I am in constant pain. I live. I love. I wash my own clothes. I decorate my house. I play with my grandsons and with my cats. I have a very lovely life. Don't ever think I am complaining. I am alive. I am happy and I am a wife, nana, mother, sister and friend. Do the best with what you are given. God Bless



  1. Candi,
    Hugs and Prayers for you my Prim sister , you have walked miles in your shoes and no one else can fill them , I am sorta in your shoes but I won't say I know how you feel because I don't but I will be here if ya just need someone to cry to , talk with , or some extra online hugs and prayers. Wishing you a week filled with sunshine , joy , and break even if brief from your suffering. Hugs
    lil raggedy angie

    PS I have severe fibromyalgia and my rheumatologist says I show signs of lupus and my body reacts to some treatments for lupus but I dont test positive for lupus yet and Im 35 for my bday this year the dr gave me a shiny new walker to help me along :0) it was so thoughtful lol

  2. Candi, I am amazed by your perseverance. Hugs to you in a place that doesn't hurt today.
    Cathy H.